As the remaining survivors from Alexandria searched for people to rise up and fight the saviors, the resident priest loaded up all the canned goods and took off in the middle of the night. What our favorite padre didn't realize was that he was headed straight into a 1990's Ann Arbor reunion show that was collecting money for a special surgical procedure and food for the needy. Gabriel, being a former resident of Ann Arbor and an old fan of bands like Mule and Wig long before his journey into Christianity, immediately abandoned his mission and left the rest of his group to come searching for him while he reminisced about old times, zines and vegan cooking. One particular vegan guitarist was overheard still bitching about Bill Brennan leaving meat in the refrigerator of 910 West Huron Street before taking a trip out west..in 1994.
Before Ann Arbor darlings, Jaks, were to take the stage and play a set of their entire discography, Rick, Michonne, Rosita and the rest of the crew walked past the door guy who was collecting the $5 cover charge without paying. When word got around, P.W. Long became enraged as 50% of the cover was to go to his gender reassignment surgery. After he spoke with Katrina from Jaks about the issue, they sent their aging, crustie punk roadies to personally collect the money. That, witnesses to the event say, is when the situation really started to go south.
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Rick and Michonne are confronted by aging Ann Arbor scenesters for not paying cover at Recycling Center show.
The woman who ended up confronting Rick about bypassing the door guy is none other than the self described "biggest fucking Jaks fan in the world" who goes by Damn_x_Bloodsucker1976 on the Jaks fan forum. She not only organized the show, she also runs the recycling center it was held at. As it turns out, she also paid Jaks from her personal trust fund for playing the show and was very concerned about recouping some of her money. When Rick said he was just looking for his friend and wasn't going to pay a five dollar cover charge for "a couple of gay bands", a heated argument ensued. Fears that the few Antifa members in the audience would start sucker punching people put everyone on edge. While this was going on, roadies claim P.W. Long was practicing tucking his penis in between his legs in the makeshift, backstage storage room while stating that he "Couldn't wait for the transformation" and reciting lines from Silence Of The Lambs. As the tension was rising, things were not looking good..Except for P.W. Long who kept stating, "I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard."
When Damn_x_Bloodsucker1978 became argumentative with Rick, the Antifa members took her hostility as a cue. They then started to move forward and began having a group temper tantrum. The pictured Antifa member in the gray hoodie and black face mask quickly ran off to smash the window out of the Starbucks Coffee which is next door to the recycling center. Other Antifa members followed and weren't seen again for the duration of the show. Rumors circulated about possible thought crimes in the area that Antifa needed to extinguish with liberating fascism.
To calm the troubled waters, Rosita tried to offer the Ann Arbor reunion organizer an alternative payment. She pulled out a .22 caliber pistol, a 9mm Glock and some ammunition as payment, stating that the Alexandria survivors were low on cash. What Rosita didn't realize was that this group of Ann Arbor punk rebels are so anti-gun and against the second amendment, this offering of firearms only inflamed the situation further. Reunion show attendees were so insulted and enraged by this, they started shouting, "Go home, rednecks!" while throwing rocks at Rick and the group. One attendee was overheard saying, "Where's Antifa when you need to smash the fascism out of someone?" But before things could get really out of hand, an unlikely soul brought order to the situation.
Just as the crusty punks were threatening violence, Father Gabriel was able to grab one of Katrina's stage props (a buck knife that she usually uses to cause a fake laceration to herself while singing the song Dumb Waiter) and put it to use.
 Gabriel grabbed a local lesbian by the poncho and threatened to slit her throat unless he and the rest of his group were allowed to leave the show without paying the five dollar cover charge. This was seen as a check mate move by the show promoters and attendees. Killing the lesbian would be murder. However, attacking Gabriel would be a hate crime and against the Ann Arbor code. Rick, Gabriel and the rest of the crew then worked their way back to the entrance, past the crowd of people and into the parking lot without further incident. The lesbian was let go once they got past the door guy and walked back into the show unharmed.
As the situation calmed, Jaks took the stage and started to play their first set in over 20 years to their adoring, sex starved fans. The night seemed to be going smoother. Singer Katrina Ford was singing Spider, the fourth song of their set, when she fell onto a broken beer bottle and actually bled real blood for the first time on stage. Ever. She ended up passing out and an ambulance was called. Sean Antanaitis, guitarist from Jaks, was seen throwing up off the side of the makeshift stage due to the sight of blood. There was talk of tears and fainting but no one could actually confirm this. The guy from the Lanternjack was on the side of the stage heckling Antanaitis and was thrown out of the show.
P.W. Long and his band Mule hit the stage after Jaks set around 11:30 pm but Long ended up spending 45 minutes tucking his dick between his legs and mumbling into the microphone without playing a note. One onlooker said it was the best show he ever heard the band play. P.W. Long's gender reassignment surgery is scheduled for the early spring.
An impromptu band was formed on the spot by some guy with red hair and a Germs t-shirt. The singer was a steel and spike clad super-fan known only as "Vegan Warrior". The other loosely assembled members all wore glasses ended up actually headlining the night with what was described as "avant noise" but no one could remember their name..or a song they played.
The promotor and organizer of the show, Damn_x_Bloodsucker1978, is said to have lost about $3500 or more in organizing the event. She was quoted as saying, "The money doesn't bother me. I'm just upset that Jaks wasn't able to play their full set."
Rick, Michonne, Gabriel and the rest of Alexandria are still searching for people to join them in the fight against the Saviors. Who knows what will happen next.
keywords - jaks, ann arbor, punk, scene, laughing hyenas, tiger 100, fugazi, dc, pc, bloodsucker, love life, scenesters, 1990's, femenism, racism, university of michigan, college town, dc punk, wannabes, vegans, blood, detroit, hollywood blood capsules,
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